Below is an actual letter that was sent out from President Obama to his minions at “Organizing For America”, a project of the Democratic National Committee. The actual letter was shortened and revised by his handlers, speech writers, and the TOTUS (Teleprompter Of The United States), who removed the italicized remarks.  I have here the actual letter in its original form:

Dear Mindless Supporter,

Tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day, Democrats across the country will sit down together, count our blessings, and give thanks for our families and our loved ones…and laugh our butts off at the debt I have saddled your grandchildren with.

American families reflect the diversity of this great nation. No two are exactly alike, but there is a common thread they each share….they all have a Birth Certificate.

Our families are bound together through times of joy and times of grief. They shape us, support us, instill the values that guide us as individuals, and make possible all that we achieve… with the help of ACORN, Big Labor Unions, the Main Stream Press, and Hollywood.

So tomorrow, I’ll be giving thanks for my family — for all the wisdom, support, and love they have brought into my life…especially Michelle, who is finally proud of America, now that she has 26 personal assistants and gets to shop in London and Paris

But tomorrow is also a day to remember those who cannot sit down to break bread with those they love…like those imprisoned ACORN workers, Senator “Cold-Cash” Jefferson, and my illegal campaign donors.

The soldier overseas holding down a lonely post and missing his kids….a post that wouldn’t be so lonely if I would send a few more troops and stop dithering…that Cheney cracks me up. The sailor who left her (I just love the PC word usage) home to serve a higher calling. The folks who must spend tomorrow apart from their families to work a second job, so they can keep food on the table or send a child to school…because I cancelled the voucher program that allowed inner-city kids to attend better private schools.

We are grateful beyond words for the service and hard work of so many Americans who make our country great through their sacrifice….and send me money so I can spend it paying just the interest on the trillions of dollars of debt I have accumulated in only 10 months.  And this year, we know that far too many face a daily struggle that puts the comfort and security we all deserve painfully out of reach…even I don’t know what I am talking about, so I can’t put any clarifying remarks here

So when we gather tomorrow, let us also use the occasion to renew our commitment to building a more peaceful and prosperous future that every American family can enjoy…which is my special code language for bringing everybody up to mediocrity and forcing  them to become ever more dependent on government.

It seems like a lifetime ago that a crowd met on a frigid February morning in Springfield, Illinois to set out on an improbable course to change our nation…folks like Bill Ayres, Rev. Wright, and Tony Rezko, uh, none of whom I know or knew very well. Uh, yea, that’s right.

In the years since, Michelle and I have been blessed with the support and friendship of the millions of Americans who have come together to form this ongoing movement for change…but nothing has really changed, except the economy has weakened, unemployment is up, the debt ceiling is up, the stimulus failed, and we owe the Red Communist Chinese more money than we can ever hope to repay. 

You have been there through victories (like trying terrorists in New York City) and setbacks (hopefully, my Health Care Reform Bill). You have given of yourselves beyond measure…because Uncle Obama needs your personal sacrifice, while I jetset about the world being really nice to everyone. You have enabled all that we have accomplished…which, thankfully, isn’t very much – and you have had the courage to dream yet bigger dreams for what we can still achieve….and you better get used to dreaming, because after I crush the rest of the private sector, you will only be dreaming about getting a job.

So in this season of thanks giving, I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to you, and my anticipation of the brighter future we are creating together….at least, brighter for all my buddies in Big Government, because once I finally destroy capitalism, even Big Union won’t have any jobs left.

With warmest wishes for a happy holiday season from my family to yours,

One-Term President Barack Obama

 (The preceding is an example of satire, which really, really angers the left, unless, of course, they are the ones using it, in which case it is clever and funny, and wins them an Oscar, Peabody, or Nobel Piece Prize).